a duo of depression slam poems

-wrote these when i was crazy depressed lol-

,

I'm afraid I'm becoming too distant.

I'm not the only person in your life, but you're the only one in mine. 

You shine like the North Star but I. 

am a black hole that collects every negative feeling, 

every frightened burst of energy, every tear falling, every sad dream It's dark. 

where I am and I can't find you even though you're screaming at me that you're right in front of me just one step further you can make it but I fall. 

I fall anyway, 

I fall into a pit below me and I stay there. 

And instead of climbing up the wall I grab a shovel and dig myself deeper where else is there to go? 

I am not strong enough to force my way up.

I am not wise enough to fabricate a plan of escape. 

Your light grows smaller as I keep digging until suddenly I can not see you anymore. 

And you cry for me, but only for a while because life will go on anyway, 

A few million years left before your star decays and I. 

I am gone and I plan no return. 

Thank you for believing in me.

,,

Where am I? 

Am I in my house? 

Am I at my school? 

In a car, in a bus, in my bed crying because no. 

I'm not here. 

I'm not there. 

I'm floating in a dark cloud of black smoke and I can't see where I'm going. 

A tiny light shines through that smoke and there I am. 

But I thought that I was... here... why am I there too? 

Who is controlling you? 

I mean me... maybe. I just don't know anymore. 

Nothing is right. Nothing is real,

I don't feel. I'm just sitting. 

In a self driving car, skidding. 

Along on the road in the fog not living.

Just moving. 

Uncontrollably. 

To places I'm supposed to be. 

But I never quite make it. 

Where am I? 

I'm not at home. I'm not at school. 

I'm not...

I'm not. 

I don't know where I've gone.