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a duo of depression slam poems

-wrote these when i was crazy depressed lol-



,

I'm afraid I'm becoming too distant.
I'm not the only person in your life, but you're the only one in mine. 
You shine like the North Star but I. 
am a black hole that collects every negative feeling, 
every frightened burst of energy, every tear falling, every sad dream It's dark. 
where I am and I can't find you even though you're screaming at me that you're right in front of me just one step further you can make it but I fall. 
I fall anyway, 
I fall into a pit below me and I stay there. 
And instead of climbing up the wall I grab a shovel and dig myself deeper where else is there to go? 
I am not strong enough to force my way up.
I am not wise enough to fabricate a plan of escape. 
Your light grows smaller as I keep digging until suddenly I can not see you anymore. 
And you cry for me, but only for a while because life will go on anyway, 
A few million years left before your star decays and I. 
I am gone and I plan no return. 
Thank you for believing in me.




,,

Where am I? 
Am I in my house? 
Am I at my school? 
In a car, in a bus, in my bed crying because no. 
I'm not here. 
I'm not there. 
I'm floating in a dark cloud of black smoke and I can't see where I'm going. 
A tiny light shines through that smoke and there I am. 
But I thought that I was... here... why am I there too? 
Who is controlling you? 
I mean me... maybe. I just don't know anymore. 
Nothing is right. Nothing is real,
I don't feel. I'm just sitting. 
In a self driving car, skidding. 
Along on the road in the fog not living.
Just moving. 
Uncontrollably. 
To places I'm supposed to be. 
But I never quite make it. 
Where am I? 
I'm not at home. I'm not at school. 
I'm not...
I'm not. 
I don't know where I've gone.

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